


Terrible Things

by sleepysailors



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 05:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16926972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepysailors/pseuds/sleepysailors
Summary: Don’t fall in love there’s just too much to lose.





	Terrible Things

“Daddy?” Patrick pulled at his father's black suit. Spot Conlon had always swore he’d never wear one not on his wedding day, not ever. But today, the day of his husbands funeral it seemed fitting. “Daddy?” The little one tried again breaking his father from the fog.

 

Spot cleared his throat, “Yes bud?”

 

“Why’d papa leave.”

 

“Because, life can to terrible things.” He wanted to comfort the boy, tell him about heaven explain to him the circle of life. But he just couldn’t.

 

As years went by the questions died down. Only rarely breaching the surface. Spot shut them down never answering more than one at a time. Patrick spent years putting together a puzzle with an infinite number of pieces. The only thing Spot would give him on some days was “He loved you so much.”

 

The years flew by, until they were packing up the boys room for college. It was a picture that sparked the question. Spot, and Race were dressed in their best clothes. They held a little boy on their shoulders at the courthouse. Still scrawny but clean and smiling from ear to ear. “Dad?” Patrick held out the picture to Spot “Please anything tell me anything about him.”

 

Sean ran his fingers through his now greying hair. A tear prickled at the corner of his eye. It was the photo of the day they officially became a family. “I guess you’re old enough now huh?” Sean mused settling onto the side of the twin bed, the rest of the room packed around them.

He took a deep breath, and a sip of his water before starting.

 

“By the time I was your age, all I wanted was to find love. I knew I was different, hell I told your grandparents I was gay before I even knew what it meant. But to fall in love, truly and deeply was all I could think. That’s when I met you father, the man of my dreams.” He scrubbed a hand over his face composing himself. “The bar was a dump. Uncle Itey and I were celebrating… something. But he was there with your uncle Jack.” Spot closed his eyes drinking in the memory. “I can’t remember  the music, or what we drank or any of that. But I do remember him. The most beautiful person that I’d ever seen. He was so cocky. He always was. He crossed the bar with that stupid smirk on his face. Do you want to know his pick up line?”

 

Patrick nodded. This was more than he had gotten out of his father in the past 10 years.

 

“He said ‘Boy can I tell you the wonderful thing? I can’t help but notice you staring at me.’ I was dumbstruck, he was so… infuriating. He bought me a drink and said ‘I know I shouldn’t say this but I really believe I can tell by your eyes that you’re in love with me.’” Spot chuckled wiping away a tear at the memory.  

 

“And that line worked on you?” Patrick asked with a smile. 

 

“Every line he dropped worked on me.”

“Did you start dating that night?”

 

“Um- yeah we started dating that night.” Spot smiled, “We’d meet up in bars and at parties and anywhere we could find an excuse to spend time together. Most of the time we’d have too much to drink, we’d laugh at the stars and lay under them for hours, just sharing everything. I mean people had their doubts about us but we were either too dumb to notice or too young to care. We never said I love you, what we had… was so much more than love. Love was a story that could never compare.” He paused wiping his eyes as his mind took him far away. “One day when we were twenty-one we went upstate. I told him it was to look at the stars like we used to. It was pitch dark, we were so broke. Your uncle jack helped me make him a ring it was so flimsy. I remember I was down on one knee. I said ‘Race can I tell you a wonderful thing? I made you this present with paper and string. I’m begging you please you know that I love you will you marry me?”

 

“What did he say?” Patrick pressed.

 

“Well, he didn’t say no. Thirty days later we were at the courthouse. Jack stood next to him and Uncle Itey stood next to me. We were just kids in love. We made it by, working three jobs, saving up couch cushion change but we made it. He never once lost that stupid smirk. And then then we met you.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yeah you. Do you remember when we picked you up from the social worker?”

 

Patrick shook his head.

 

“Eh I guess you wouldn’t. We pulled up and she had this awful beaten up blue subaru. And there you were in the back seat. Even from the car we could see you were a little grunge ball. Race well, Race didn’t even have to meet you to fall in love with you. He looked out the car window and saw you with your hair sticking up every which way. He looked back at me and called ‘dibs’. We both knew we’d be your last home. He adored you. He always adored you.” Spot smiled up at his son remembering the small boy who wouldn’t make eye contact. How had he grown into such a fine young man? “It took one hundred and sixty three days to make you ours. He kept a countdown until it was official and boy, it was like christmas came all over again. You were the greatest gift either of us ever had.” Spot took a deep breath not wanting to get to this part of the story. Taking a sip of water to cover the crack in his voice. 

 

“It was on day one hundred of us being a real family that I got the news. He had been going to the doctors for weeks, anytime I’d ask he’d say it was a therapist appointment, or work kept him late. But that night he brought you home superman pajamas and a few silly toys and I knew, I just knew something was wrong. He said ‘Sean can I tell you a terrible thing?’ I was praying he had wrecked the car or lost his job or anything. he said ‘It seems that I’m sick and I’ve only got weeks.” Spot didn’t bother to wipe his tears as Patrick put an arm around his father's shoulder.” He looked right at you playing. He said ‘Please don’t be sad now I really believe you two were the greatest things to ever happen to me.’”

 

“Dad, you can stop if you want?” Patrick offered wiping his own tear.

 

“It was a Sunday when he left us, he had printed out a new waffle recipe that night. I don’t know why I remember that. But when I went to wake him he was gone.”

 

“Dad-”

 

“Just don’t fall in love there’s just too much to lose. If you’re given the choice then I’m begging you choose to walk, hell run away don’t let it get you. I can’t bear the same thing to happen to you. Son I’m only telling you this because life can do terrible things.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I used to love the song terrible things by mayday parade. I thought I’d kill Race off with it.


End file.
